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Of course. Not now. The doctor hesitated, as if waiting for them to reach a unanimous decision. The doctor, smarter than he looked, obeyed. That was the most immediate threat. Skin grafts are simple, of course, but in many cases infection proves fatal before we have the chance to do anything. Crush injuries to the legs and pelvis.

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Spinal cord abrasion. Col apsed lung. Damage to the aortic valve necessitated immediate bypass and may have required an eventual transplant. Internal bleeding. Keep going, I forced myself to think. The words were in the air before I could take them back. Two legs. I could see them. They can do a lot with prosthetics. They made fake limbs that moved, that even, in some way, felt. That looked almost normal. How could it be happening—how could it keep happening—and stil seem so unreal? But then how could it be real?

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How could I, Lia Kahn, be a one-armed, one-legged, burned, scarred, punctured lump? I need to see what I look like. I need a mirror. The voice was not.

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So you would understand that certain decisions were made for your own good. Some sacrifices were needed to save your life. The doctor frowned. He stood closest to my parents, his gray suit flashing, very subtly, in time with his heartbeat. The style had been in and then very definitely out a couple years ago, but it worked for him. Although with his face—chiseled cheekbones, long-lashed brown eyes, dimpled chin, nearly-but-not-quite feminine lips—. Then I reminded myself that the smile would have been bound by blistered lips, pul ed back to reveal cracked teeth, or dark empty gaps, along bloody gums.

As for the blond hair I would have liked to flick over my shoulder, just quickly enough that the scent of lavender wafted out to greet him? It was probably gone. My eyes were both stil there, that was obvious. At least one of my ears. He saw the lump. Toggle navigation. ADS 7. Counted to three. Opened them again.

It was something. I suddenly wondered if I was crying. I probably should have been crying. No blink.

Forget asking him to kil me. I wanted him to die.

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